Fear

People ask me, about my psychic ability, aren’t you afraid? I wonder, do they think they would be afraid to know what is going to happen? Or do they think that knowledge in advance is to be feared? I see it more as a preparation, a way to not be afraid, since I expected a result.

My first bike was an open ride into the world. Before that, I was afraid of my closet, the space under my bed, and basically the whole wide world. As I rode four blocks to my elementary school to peer in the windows on the weekends, I realized I loved adventures. To love an adventure meant I had destroyed fear. I soon saw that cars and people inside who ignored me were the biggest menace to what might happen to me. Yet I continued to have as many adventures as I could fit into my small life.

My huge college, Penn State, wasn’t scary. Just big and beautiful, with choices beyond measure. Sports, music, friends, food, all the choices were mine alone. No longer did my mom try to pick my friends for their social status. I could use my intuition to pick the good ones, the stimulating ones, regardless of their parent’s status. 

In college, I rode my fat-wheeled bike out into the country to escape the chaos of all those people at Penn State. Crowds meant I could “see” too much, people’s past mistakes, and negative thoughts. I still hate crowds, with my ability to see crimes committed and blunders covered up. 

If a person presses me more than once with the question, aren’t you afraid? I answer, I think you should be the one who is afraid. I have an ability that makes me safer. 

When we remember the past, it’s a fuzzy, grey sort of thought. That’s how I see other people’s past mistakes. That isn’t who they are now, although that is another layer I can wade through if I need to think about whether they can be trusted.

We all worry about the future, about what could happen. I see it in advance sometimes, but I’m not afraid. Long, long ago I conquered my fears, as I stepped onto a United Air Lines plane as a stewardess in 1973. Full gusto, I said to myself. Don’t let fear get in the way. Do it and think positively. Try it all, say yes. Fear is a roadblock, move beyond it.