Recipient of a Grudge

An old high school writer pal said I was her nemesis and wrote a book where I had a starring role. When I talked about her lies to another friend she said, I only wish someone would write a book about me. But I felt stunned and bewildered. 

I actually had to look up the word nemesis in my 2076 page Webster dictionary. It’s an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best. Oh my sorrow almost overwhelmed me. To think that I play a role so predominantly in her world could be thought of as good, but it seemed quite pitiful. 

I don’t know how to make her value her own self more. Intuitively, I know she is coming from a place of inferiority, but when we were close, I tried to build her up. When she wanted to play compare games, I’d tell her that her legs or hair were the most beautiful. I still try to send Facebook positivity her way when she posts, and on the few occasions that I see her, I ask important questions about her life and interests. 

I know that all of you have been recipients of grudges, and most were undeserved. We have to pat ourselves on the back and say, you’re doing a great job. Don’t let someone else’s negativity stand in your way. Be creative and interesting, achieve all that you can. The race is you against your own self, not a race against another. Change the Be Our Guest lyrics from Beauty and the Beast to your own lyrics- Be Your Best, be your best, put your service to the test. And the finale: Come on and lift your glass, you’ve won your own free pass (life is so unnerving). 

Jay Shetty in his book, Think Like a Monk, suggests transformative forgiveness. He says negativity arises from fear, and the longer we hold onto fear, the more it ferments until it eventually becomes toxic.