Thursday, March 25, 2010

Motherhood Intuition

My youngest child is a freshman in college. I miss his physical plant and his humor, his need for food and help with chores. Something else has been missing and I just figured it out--Motherhood Intuition.

At my daughter's first cry, it kicked in. I somehow knew when she needed me. My children's nuances of behavior seldom slid past me. Their unspoken wants became my desires. Instinctively I cared for them and put them first. The house bulged with feeling and pathos and anger and love.

Now I live alone. My vibes bounce against white walls. I listen for sounds no longer made, for wants now manifested by my grown children. My intuition felt dead.

It is now spring and I know my intuition is alive. No longer Motherhood Intuition, it sweeps and sways and holds court over friends and neighbors, my sister and mom, and clients who seek my services.

Don't tell me it is not done. They are grown, it is done. Now I am a friend to my children. Friend Intuition has taken its place. I am both resigned and relieved.