Practicing Forgiveness

An old friend from high school just wrote a book and I had a starring role. I felt excited to revisit the past, but it was so filled with lies that I had to throw it in the trash and put old spaghetti sauce on top of it. The biggest surprise was an interview she did, where she said that I’m her nemesis. 

I thought that might have to do with jealousy, which I’m not prone to, so I looked it up. In mythology, Adrastea was the goddess of divine retribution. Another meaning for nemesis is an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best. Oh, my, I felt such sadness for her. 

Soon after the sadness, I thought about her lifelong addictions, which cloud her judgements. I did my best to remember the good times we had, outside of her troubled view. I tried to put away pity and push compassion to the front of my brain.

Forgiveness is something I now try to do daily. We all have deep pain inflicted by others. When we forgive, the amygdala in our brain reduces signals to the hypothalamus, which eases signals to the pituitary glands, which reduces excessive cortisol levels. That results in lower levels of anxiety and depression.

Practicing forgiveness leads to better problem solving and decision making, and I surely want that. The resulting kindness helps me grow in empathy. Like piano though, practice makes me a better player. It all takes time.