Are You Scared?

People often ask me if I’m scared of being psychic. I’ve had the ability for so long that it’s part of me and I’m not afraid. I certainly am horrified by murder when I work with detectives. As I see the aftermath of someone being destroyed, I try to figure out how I can help and direct. It’s similar to when someone has an accident. You stay calm in order to drive them to the emergency room. 

I’m most bothered by things I know in advance and can’t stop. When I was 60, my mother’s husband caused an accident that killed my mom slowly over four days. I had seen it in my mind’s eye since 1986, but not clearly, and I frightened my daughter by worrying she was involved. For 26 years, I worried. The day of the accident, I begged my mom to let me take off work and drive her to the ice cream shop. No, she said, we’ll be fine. Well, she wasn’t.

I guess it’s dread, not fear, that overcomes me at times, but whomever gave me this ability, made me strong enough to bear it.

A few weeks ago, I had negative tarot cards in my reading. My own psychic had told me to beware, but I thought she meant my new work location would be robbed. Turns out, because of a predicted ice storm, I didn’t lock my car in the driveway. Up until three years ago, someone had been going into cars on my street to steal money.

I forgot about his thievery, so he was able to enter my car after I had gone to bed and take $5.00 worth of quarters. My neighbor’s security camera showed footage of him, but not well enough to identify. I got so mad at his invasion, and actually thought I’d put a mouse trap in my center console for this next visit. But what if I forget it’s in there? I decided to let it go.

We can’t be afraid of life. We all take risks and know that things could go sour. It’s good to be careful, but optimism, whether it’s inherent or forced, is the answer. I try my best to banish fear from my life each day, just like I do red beets and rice pudding.