How to Help a Hoarder

I try my best to do some charity work every week. When I noticed on Facebook that a friend was about to move and had too much stuff, I asked her if she wanted help. “Yes!” she wrote. “I don’t want to be a hoarder!”

On Friday, I spent most of the day at Gayle’s side, along with another friend of hers, Ross. At first, she argued, I am NOT giving any of this away! That gave way to long stories about each item she collected. I acknowledged her need for necessary kitchen items, coats, and umbrellas, then decided to attack what I call shit that sits. 

Gayle, I said, this is not really your great aunt. This is just stuff she liked. At one point, tears rolled down her face, but she never got mad at me directly, which was my fear. We packed up six huge boxes for the second hand store, which Ross took directly to my car, and we filled three large garbage bags with trash. Her teenage children's clothing was stuffed in bags for them to hoard or give away. 

When we stopped for the day, Gayle’s parting words were, let me know when you can come back.

My answer is never. Yet my heart reached out to her. My mom died six years ago and I just recently gave away ten of her ugly flower paintings. Some days I sniff her scarf and feel like a child.

We all hoard something. I have a room full of music that I’ve collected all my life. I’ve played it all, but I don’t need to save it all. I guess the way to help a hoarder is the way we help anyone. Loving feelings, patience, intuition, and emotions. 

I told Gayle I’d call her to pick me up if my car ever broke down. But now I think, how soon can I ask her to help clean out my basement?