Angels and Death and a Psalm

My mother Lorna died 11 weeks ago from a terrible car accident caused by my stepfather. I found it hard to stop howling and the pain in my stomach made me not want to eat. Today, I have been happy for seven days. As my sister says, life is like a river. I have passed through the rapids.

My mother loved church. Today's blog is dedicated to my feisty and intellectual mother.

I have been called a witch. Others have said that my police work is the work of the devil. Both accusations disturb me. How can volunteer work on a murder case be anything but good? Isn't the only witch a person who states that she IS a witch? For sure, I am not involved in devil work and I am not a witch, although I could be a prophet, since I am a visionary and I feel I have divine inspiration. Or I could be an angel, because I give messages to people. I think that angelic work in any form equals an angel.

Angels cause some people to think of heaven. To ease the ache of my mother's four days of pain and subsequent death, some friends told me she was in heaven while others said, "She's with you. She's all around you." Psalm 91:12 states: For he will give his angels charge of you to guard you in all your ways. This psalm gives me some comfort. Maybe my mother is that angel guarding me. If she were still here in the flesh, she might have believed that way of thinking. She is not here, yet I cannot let go of her entirely. I will draw comfort from any source I can find.

To all of you, I say, may your deaths be life. Let the change in the river's current transform your future. As my southern relatives would say, "God bless."

PA Renaissance Faire and Music Lessons

Each August through October I do readings and palms at Fortune's Favour at the PA Renaissance Faire at the Mt. Hope Estate and Winery in Manheim, Pennsylvania (dates below). I wear a costume and pretend to be part of 16th century England.

It is so different from my job teaching voice and piano to children. With teaching, I have to be proper at all times and careful of every word I say. Children are impressionable and unformed and my advice can steer them. One discouraging word and a world of hurt could pass across a child's face. A good teacher can never make a mistake.

Fortunes and palms at the Faire are quite the opposite. Most of my clients are adults, some have been drinking and others are there for a lark. I can loosen my tongue and attitude yet hone my powers of concentration.

Both jobs require care and humor. My clients look to me for wisdom and advice and take what I say to heart. Today I am glad I am old. The time I spent in education and experience serves me well. I love having two jobs, two personas and two ways to express my personality.

These are the dates I will be doing readings at the PA Ren Faire:
August 14 Sunday August 20 & 21 Saturday and Sunday August 28 Sunday
September 5 Monday September 11, 18, 25 Sundays
October 2 Sunday October 8 & 9 Saturday and Sunday October 16 & 23 Sundays

Right Side Brain Practice

Twice a day I read my tarot cards and search for help and meaning. The interpretation of my own cards is difficult compared to the ease I feel when I read for others. "A fox can't smell her own hole," I often say. Despite my frustration, I strive every day to become more intuitive about my own life. I try to make use of right brain processes. Right brain is simultaneous, intuitive and subjective, while left brain is analytical, sequential and logical. Music is one example. I teach voice and piano, and outside of work I make chord charts for songs I love. This exercise removes my analytical method of reading notes and forces me to play creatively. Another example is art. I own three paintings by Robert Heilman. One day I look at them and see concrete form, lines and shapes. Another day I squint my eyes to see love and pulse. Ten years ago when I worked daily on pro bono murder cases, I hated crowds. I would walk through a fair and instead of craving cotton candy and french fries, I noticed bad people and saw the terrible things they had done. Now I am more tolerant of crowds because I put a positive spin on the day. I open my mind and heart to upbeat nuances. I pay attention to sounds, warm voices, a caring touch, a young woman who holds the door for me, or a child with wide eyes. My advice for today...put your right brain in gear to enhance your intuition. Don't dwell on the negative and enjoy life through rose colored glasses.

Some Say "No no no"

I met a wild-eyed woman in a bathroom line. We smiled and had a banal conversation about waiting for a toilet. I decided to liven things up.

"Want me to tell your fortune?" I asked. Her wild eyes turned curious and happy. We suddenly hit the actual ladied room and time was running out.

"Your right knee hurts. Be careful," I warned.

"No, no, no. It's my left knee," she said, with a look. I knew that look well. It's the old "you aren't REALLY a psychic 'cause you got this one wrong." Meanwhile, I had the right body part but a mirror image of it. Off we went into opposite stalls. I washed my hands and dashed out the door. There she stood with a huge grin.

"You were right," she said, "it IS my right leg. It just hurt."

I sure can understand a freebie doubting me, but someone who pays me and then has "no, no, no" as their operative response just wears me out. Whenever I complain about the "no, no, no" people to my friend Michele, she tells me, "Remember the blue house." Years ago I told a co-worker who was house hunting that she would know the right house when she found the blue one.

"I HATE blue. No, no, no," she said. The next month, she ran up to me and screamed about a house she loved but every single room was painted blue.

My other "no, no, no" clients send me emails. "You were right, I am sorry I doubted you," they write. Or maybe, "I figured out the guy you were talking about when I got home and received an email from my ex-fiance!"

I cannot blame them. Love, pity, desire, anger, psychic ability. None can be proven.