How Long Have You Been Doing This?

At holistic fairs, the question I get most often is, How long have you been doing this?

When I was thirty, I started to research tarot and anything paranormal. Libraries were my source, and the librarians stared at me oddly when I asked for help. I lived in Bloomsburg, PA at the time, and the locals told me there was a witch girl who walked through town often and hung out at the roller rink. 

I found her walking by my apartment most days, and tried to lure her in, to ask what she knew. She had a great sense of reserve, and told me the people in the town made fun of her. That wasn’t my intention, but she also said she didn’t have any real powers. She discussed her “crazy mother” and her own bouts of mental illness. The two of us had fun roller skating, but people in the town thought I should stay away from her. To me, she seemed harmless. 

A few years later, I moved back to my hometown, Lebanon, where it was easier to find work than it was in Bloomsburg, where I knew few people. I had missed my mom’s presence and support, and this area had more libraries for my research and more radio stations for me to find work. 

I visited a few local psychics who were scam women, and not at all helpful in my quest to be a good psychic. I read books, took notes, and used libraries in Cumberland and Dauphin counties. 

At age forty, in 1991, I began my pro bono work with police. Detectives used to ask, don’t you need anything? What do you use? By then I had spent many years learning the tarot, but it wasn’t helpful or needed in my murder work. Information came to me as I sat at my computer, and I would type info from home. It was unpleasant work, and I truly hated seeing murder scene pictures. 

At age fifty-five, I grew weary of what others called the dark side of life. I only worked on cases where good people were hurt, and that made me almost too sad for words. I decided then, that I was finally well-versed enough to start to do readings for pay. I got booths at holistic fairs far enough out of town that I wouldn’t be labelled as crazy. I did all I could not to be a charlatan. Honesty came first. It’s still hard to tell people difficult news. I don’t think my music education nor my multi media specialization for my masters helped me succeed in this field.

I met Andy Pushnik, who was a great reader but didn’t share much with me. He gave me his worn deck of cards and clothes from his dead mom, but I truly wanted a mentor. He worked through his substance abuse problems, and in time, I decided if he could work in the field, so could I. So here I am, with a business that flourishes and a name that garners respect. It’s what we all wish for, to keep our path straight and keep a clear conscience. 

It's easier to be an old lady psychic than a young one. I get more automatic respect. Just like it’s easier to be an old music teacher. None of the mothers care anymore when their husbands bring the kids. Jealousy is not pleasant, so it’s a relief to be past that stage. When old guys flirt with me in front of their wives, the wives usually say, you can have him if you want him!

Nowadays, I continue to research anything paranormal and try to find my own path. My latest is palms, an ancient form that many have moved away from. As teenagers, my friends and I would stare at our palms and try to see the future. Now I can actually make sense of it through this almost lost art.