Longing

If I played that Facebook game where I oddly explain what I do for a living, I’d say I address longing. In music lessons, I help with a desire to capture the beauty of making music to find rapture. In psychic readings, longing is omnipresent. Love, health, work, and coming to terms with the past, that’s some of what I discuss. This week, at the end of a reading, a woman said, you’re a medium, tell me more about the people who have passed. Meanwhile, I had spent most of her session as her mother. She saw me in that room, but the voice coming from my mouth was not mine. Why can I not remember to explain that as it happens? 

The most important things in life are not things, but stuff you can’t touch or prove. Yearning, love, frustration, and yes, desire for your next experience. As a child, I longed to be grown up and free. As a teen, it was romance, in my 20s, adventure. In my 30s, 40s, and 50s, I wanted to be a good mother and enjoy my work. Now I long for serenity, a continuance of my lovely career, and a whole bunch of trips thrown into the mix. I live for the future. When I think about mistakes, I ponder the longing that took me in that direction.

Today is my once-a-week ice cream day. What will I long for when I’m 90 and decide to eat it every day? Maybe it’ll be new friends to replace those who have passed, a driver who makes me laugh, and the continued ability to move my body. I wonder if psychic people with dementia can still predict?