Court

My sister and our lawyer and I went to court last week to settle our mother's estate.  We heard intimate facts about the car accident that killed her from the officer on the scene and the truck driver witness.  My stepfather caused the accident, which made it all the more unbearable.  It was a terribly sad afternoon for all of us.  Since I am a receiver and openly emotional, I cried most of the hearing.  What surprised me was the bailiff approaching me with a box of tissues and the personal accident story the judge told us.  The judge's final comment got stuck in my brain. 

"Do not let this define you," he said.

For the last 16 months it has both defined me and altered me, yet I know I must find optimism.  Instead of letting this peach rot, I should slice it and eat it now. 

My life seems quieter since Mom's death but my desire for solitude heightened my intuition.  I believe intuition is a way to not feel alone.  When I pay attention to other people's feelings and let emotions into my life, a connection results.  Connections can feel like love, even when they come from strangers. 

I will not become jaded or let anger linger.  My open heart will precede me. 

May you find a way to keep your heart open through pain.